Oh no, it's me!

I am tripolata confused. I don't even know who I am.

It's like there are 3 parts of me. The horned part (whom I shall call D for obvious reasons), the winged part (whom I shall call A, also for obvious reasons), and the third part (T) which analyses D and A and tries to understand them. And STILL doesn't understand.

here you see the difference.

It may sound like I'm totally babbling. But the truth is, I'm on really shaky ground with my faith and lots of other things. Like, I put on a bimbo act with some people, and act intellectual with others. And when "T" asks me which one I really am, I don't know.

I went totally high the other day at the movies, totally screaming about how hot the hero was, blah blah...(you know, how bimbos act).

But when "T" asked me "Were you really that into him?" I honestly answered, "Well, he is kinda hot, but i don't know, if I look at it from another angle, he isn't that hot. Don't know, got to follow what my friends think."

The Devil (D) part of me has been kinda active lately. Especially with the subject of Christianity. Like, it's been saying, "What's the point of trusting in a God that you don't really know anyway? Just go on and do what you like!"

Then Angel (A) goes, "There's so much proof to show that God exists...." and proceeds to list them out.

D 's main argument is that I don't know 100% that God exists. A's main argument is that he just does. Even a kid can see that D is winning the dumb argument.

And the dangerous thing is, D has been asking me to act like a total b*tch. I've been thinking about what it would be like to be totally conscienceless and be really selfish. Would I be happy then, getting what I want all the time? D says yes.

And A is getting very worried, going "no, no, no, that's wrong." Meanwhile, T is trying to make sense of myself, analyse the situation and find out what I'm really like. But T is still very blur about what's going on, aside from the fact that D is winning.

This is me. Deal with it.