Yadda.

Let me tell you something :

My mom is fattening my brother up for UPSR.

Now doesn't that sound totally random and uninteresting?

But wait. The next part is, since we stay in the same house and eat the same meals, she's fattening me up as well!! Don't know whether she realises that or not.

I can't get out of meals now. EEEEEEEE.

YF retreat

Well seeing that everyone is blogging about yf retreat I shall too heh.

Retreat was really fun except for a few little mozzie problems :D which anyway, couldn't be helped. (I counted 27 mosquito bites!)

Shall now put down all superlatives. I love superlatives, they make me feel so organized. (*ahem* which I am not).

Most unbelievable thing :
The toilets.

--> Clean, un-bugged, and dare I say....comfortable? :D I have never come across such bug-free toilets. Not a lizard or cockroach in sight. Ahh....heaven.

Most unusual thing :
The food....yum yum!

--> We were given unusually generous HUGE portions of food, great platters of munchies were on the table from breakfast to supper. There were fruits and even cincau as well! I love the cook, she sure knows how to feed people.

Most illuminating part :
The sessions

--> Sessions were fantastic, because they came in effective little bits. This was the first time we had 3 days, 3 sessions. Although sessions were few, but these few were terrif, relevant to us, informative and we were given enough time to digest it all before the next session.

Newest experience :
Doing worship in YF

--> My first time doing worship in YF. I've done worship countless times in CF before, but in YF was really different coz there were many more older people haha ... I don't think there was much enthusiasm though :D Maybe looking at my face soured their moods heh.

Best idea of the committee :
Grouping

--> There were many groups, but fewer people in groups, so we got to interact with each other and I got to know other people better yay. Hope we keep up this relationship yea.

Most enjoyable part :

--> Frenz, duh! muaxx. Oh and maybe I should mention the last night of camp was *tee hee* very illuminating :D *giggle*

*I*O*U*

I was just thinking of all these people to whom I owe so much and yet, can never repay, so I decided to list them down, just for fun.

1.) God

Of course. God #1. God has been so gracious to me, and blessed me with so much stuff, died for me (OUCH) but I still forget to thank him, sometimes. And yet he doesn't rain thunder from the sky and say "Yuenie, you have sinned and forgotten to thank me. You shall die." Instead, he blesses me more! Eeek. This guy arr....I can worship him 4ever, and I still cannot repay him a little bit.

2.) Mum

What can I say? She's my mum. Need I mention the countless times she went the extra mile to make me happy when she didn't even need to? Need I mention the....okay, you get it.

3.) Dad

Notice that *dad* comes after *mum*. Obviously. But, heh, anyway, whatever I say would be redundant. Dads are great. *xoxox, daddy*.

4.)My friends

Min Ru, I love you so much *muaxx*
Erin, kisses for you. xoxox.
Kaymin, what can i say? besides *ahem* "muffins!"
Yung Ming. Choco Potato. *hugsies*

5.)People in YF

Of course there are some people I know better than others, but anyway just wanna thank some ppl for looking out for me and trying to make me feel welcome and all...I'm not blind to your efforts heh. :) I won't name them, just in case they become perasan heh.

I feel so guilty. I've received so much from other people, and what have I given in return? Like, a teensy weensy part of me. Even if I start giving now to the end of my life, I cannot thank these people enough.

I Can't Sing!!

i can't sing soprano-pitched notes now.(up to 2 octaves above middle C). This is just so great.

i used to be able to reach those notes hot on the spot, but now it takes warming up just to hit the G 2 octaves above middle C. argh.

what a disaster. Apparently, according to my singing teacher, it's my "passagio"(I don't know how to spell it.)

Mr. Lee : Singers' voices are the most unpredictable instruments, especially at your age. We as professional singers have to alter our voices every seven years. Yours is deepening and maturing right now, which is the normal time for teenage girls.

Me : How long will it take? A month?

Mr. Lee : Maybe around two or three years.

Me : !!!!!

I hate my current singing pitch. Anyway, I'm grateful for still being able to sing okay. And there's always my beloved piano!

Yadda....

yay. called thiru on the phone just now.

he is a very nice person! i mean, i kinda got freaked out over the letter and all, but in spite of the famous demerit forms and everything, he is really nice.

problem solved.

sorry for the lack of colour in these posts, something is really wrong with my Blogger. *hee* will edit as soon as i can.

p.s. tomorrow is youth retreat! lalala wheeee!!

Dilemma

i am so confused.

got an anonymous letter. darn.
well, i didn't know who the person was so i couldn't reply yesterday, phew.
i mean, at least i had an excuse.

today, found out that he is a form 3 person i don't really know. And that is where the problem comes in.

darn, i don't know what to do.

Stupid Cake

I am so pissed.

I managed to skip recess and lunch. But wait, it doesn't stop there!

I bought a birthday cake for my mum *sobs* (bye bye money) and took at least 5 spoonfuls of chocolate cream. Then, filled with remorse, thank goodness I stopped eating.

Almost got forced to eat dinner by mom though. Luckily she went out and I only had to eat 2 slices of cucumber and a glass of fruit juice!

Yay. Stupid cake.

How can something so wrong, taste so deliciously right?

Superlatives

Yuen Yuen is tripolata bored.

The 5 Superlatives
The 5 most precious objects to me :
a) my family
b) my friends
c) my new handphone!
d) my piano
e) my pink Roxy purse

The 5 most dear ppl to me outside family:
a) Min Ru
b) Jaz
c) Kaymin
d) Yung Ming
e) Nick

5 things I do at school everyday:
a) Giggle for at least 1/2 hour. (becoz of you lar, Min Ru!)
b)Dance.
c) Look in the mirror.
d) Giggle.
e) Giggle some more.*
** only when with Minru. =D

5 random facts about me :
a) I am fat.
b) I love the piano..total yayness!
c) I am SO over Lee.
d)I have a sweet tooth - really really sweet.
e) I hate playing violin. (i like listening to other ppl play tho.)

5 things I really want :
a) thin. thin. thin.
b) to be able to wear contact lenses in comfort.
c) money. for mega sales!
d) 360 holidays a year.
e) unlimited phone credit.

I know this post is totally lame. This is the result of having nothing to do.

Little Voice

"You may not recognise me at first. But trust me, you know me well. I'm the voice that makes you crave that heavenly "Chocolate Indulgence" cake from Secret Recipe and the mocha cream puff, the one with inch thick cream and smooth lemon vanilla custard, sandwiched between light choux pastry with mocha flavoured icing on top, drizzled with chocolate. Do you know who I am now?"

i can just imagine you drooling right now....

"I'm the reason you smoke 20 cigarettes everyday. You try to stop, but we both know that you always cave in and smoke all the more. So why don't you have another one while you're at it? We both know you'll never give up, you like it too much."

This is the voice that most of us have to deal with everyday, the little voice buzzing around in our heads, telling us what to do against our logic. And those of us with less determined willpower actually are lame enough to listen to the voice. Read on :

**whisper whisper**

"Don't worry about that cream puff - you can go to the gym later to work the calories off. Ok, so we both know that Procrastination will come along and you'll put it off until tomorrow....and tomorrow....but don't worry about that now."

"You need a cigarette and one more is not going to kill you (not right now anyway). Even sensible Logic tells you that people get killed just crossing the road. Why not enjoy the moment? Got ya! See, it works everytime!"

you know you want one.

Some of us with more willpower manage to clamp it down for a while, but it doesn't last very long.

Now that you've revealed your true colours, I realise what a fool I've been. I've listened to you all along, all the time unaware of your power over me. Don't try any tricks, I'm going to quit smoking. You cannot control me. I will not eat that last cream puff, even if it has inch thick cream and smooth lemon vanilla custard like you said. You think I'm weak? Well, think again. You're gonna.....

Oh shut up and cut out the crap, will you? Have another cigarette and a cream puff - you know it'll make you feel better, then I won't have to put up with all this self-centred rubbish any more. Enough is enough!

Oh...ok, sorry if I upset you.

*grins* victory!

Just a Thought

Just had a really thought-provoking....er...thought. In school this morning. It's probably been mentioned by psychologists or philosophers many times, but I just thought I'd put it down anyway.

........

Erm....I don't know how to say it.

I was just thinking out of my body....that is, I looked upon my life as a spectator, like I was watching myself. It felt strangely distant, and got me thinking.

We go about our business everyday, not giving a thought to what we do or why we do it. Well, perhaps we do think about it, but we don't really probe further.

I'll just say that everything we do is for other people. Forget what psychiatrists say about peer pressure and all, but this is different. I mean, everything we do, although we may think it's for ourselves (we are mistaken) is actually according to what other people think we should do. We think that way, because we've lived here all our lives and it's been drilled into our heads (by other people), dictated to us by society: what's right, what's wrong, what's acceptable, what's total outcast material.

Isn't it strange, the lengths we go to for other humans? I mean, everything we do is according to human standards. Every thought we think, every action, every sentence was planted by humans.

Oh yea, I forgot, we are humans!

Anyway, just to make my point, f0r instance :

Students (like me :D) study for good results. If you asked a student why, he / she would say, "Oh, for myself, my future, of course!"

But who determines her future? (I mean, besides the Lord).
Who sets the standard for her "successful" future?

Other people.

Society has a definite definition, certain criteria to fulfill and countless rules for those who are considered successful and worth respect. As for these "successful" people, their every move is watched unceasingly (or is it incessantly? you know what I mean). They don't have a single private moment and the minute they make a single mistake, it's published all over the world for millions of people to read. Argh.

Makes you wonder huh, is being "successful" really all it's cracked up to be?

Anyway, as I was saying, (I seem to have gone a little off topic) our minds are totally shaped by other people around us. You gripe at the preposterous decisions the government has made, weep silent tears at the romantic, tragic ending of Tristan and Isolde, scream about how totally hot Orlando Bloom is *giggles* , proclaim true love for your career etc..

Well, the first instance was most probably because you, like your fellow colleagues, have that human sense and love of career drilled into you by other humans. The other instances was probably because you hang out with other teenage girls who are great drama queens tend to be very emotional (speaking from the point of view of a teenage girl).

Our entire lives lie in other people's hands.
Makes you think twice about smiling at that stranger in the street huh? For all you know, that smile could change his life.

Yeah, right.

"My fate in in your hands." --- Min Ru.

Bye Bye Phone.

I feel like I'm going to explode and go up in smoke.

I just lost my phone, thanks to my STUPID IRRITATING dear, charming brother.

He was not allowed to play computer on weekdays, so when mum left the house, he asked me whether he could play. I said no.

He then proceeded to shove the computer chair back in with a *BANG*, shaking the entire table and loosening all the computer plugs. Tears of rage in his eyes, he then ran upstairs, took my beloved purple pen and used it to to scratch deep lines in my table. Gosh, now my table doesn't look like a table anymore.

Here's the best bit of all.

Seeing my Chinese calligraphy ink bottle on the table beside my phone, he first covered the phone in black ink, then tried to "wash his fingerprints" off (so that there would be no proof). Obviously, the black ink remained.

Now, my phone is *kaput*.

Guess what my dear, charming brother says about it?

"I didn't do it! You have no proof!"
....because you washed your fingerprints off? Please.

There goes my social life down the drain.

And he's not even getting punished!!
Is there justice in this world?

I wouldn't like to ask my parents to get me a new phone (coz I wouldn't feel nice about it) and obviously can't ask my dear, charming brother to pay, becoz as my dad says, I "cannot accuse anyone without proof."

Bye bye social life.
Bye bye message inbox.
Bye bye contacts.
Bye bye pictures with significant other.
Bye bye every single thing.

i miss you so much already.

I am seriously thinking about buying a CCTV thing to install in the house, to prove "he dunnit".

URGH I feel like pouring the whole bottle of calligraphy ink over his smirking head.

Life. Truth / Superficiality?

It's now 2:45 a.m. Just downloaded a Rachmaninov piece and feeling uber inspired. *grin*

Was just chatting and thought about how superficial life is. For me. Maybe for others it's just easy to *BLEH* out everything, but for me, I go to school with that Batman Joker smile every morning. I've lived in this life for so long, mixed things up so much, that I don't even know what I really am like, who my real friends are, if I have any.

i couldn't find a better pic of Joker.

check out his winning smile! =.='

It seems like everywhere, people greet you with Joker smiles, pretty-pretty Colgate smiles. But exactly how much is going on behind that smile, you never know.

I once had a not-so-nice experience of a "close" friend being not-that-close after all. He/she (not telling who it is, too bad =P) was a person who really liked gossiping. I listened to him/her many times, not thinking that even I would not be an exception. He/she went behind my back and actually spread damaging rumours about me.

The thing is, these rumours weren't outright lies. They were the embroidered truth. Not exaggerated. Embroidered. As in, saying something which really happened, but with stuff added in from his/her imagination. Which made people (who didn't know me) feel really doubtful of me.

For instance, if I make a typo error, it's because I "suck at typing" and am a "total loser" when it comes to the computer". Of course, this is just an example of what he/she might say.

And the irony is, even until now, one year later, we are still keeping up the facade. I wasn't angry, I don't really get angry with people, but I was really hurt. And now we are still smiley-smiley nice-nice at school when we meet. Boof. Sometimes I wonder if she even knows what she did to me. It's just a habit to her.

Maybe I was too sensitive. But my point here is, in my world, no matter what people do or what they think, all of us are bright and smiley like everything is fine under the beautiful sun. Bleh. Maybe it's just me.

we'll smile till the end of eternity itself.

Oddly, some people have no problem with showing their emotions. Darn, I envy these people. I just don't have the guts to make people hate me. I wish I didn't care if they did.

Everyone is smiley. It's getting rather tiring, keeping this false mask up, pretending to be ok all the time. Smiles don't last forever if they're not real.

I like this one!

It's not just the smiling anyway. It's appalling how much can go on behind your back. People everywhere are trying to act like other people and in the end, you don't know who's who. I don't even know me anymore. Not very much, anyway. Scholars are trying to act like bimbos or cheerleaders or popular people. Popular people....well who knows? Not that I have anything against popular people, but too many popular wannabes can be rather intimidating.

In the end, someone who was once nice and caring and studious acts like a flirty, self-centred, boy-crazy person because of hanging with people like that. Someone who was once well-mannered and polished acts aloof and arrogant because she hangs with people who think that "common" people are beneath them. Get a good role model at least, why don't you?

Gosh. How long is this gonna last?

Chocolate is Poisonous

Darn. I skipped recess and lunch, but ate a chocolate bun at dinner today.

Delicious Stupid chocolate bun.

this is not the chocolate bun I ate, but the calories are the same.

It was just after my vocal lesson and I had loads of time to kill while waiting for my mum (who was ridiculously late). So, being the food-lover that I am, I went to the nearby bun shop to eat.

And staring out from the glass pane at me, was a big, beautifully "coiffed" chocolate snail. Or bun. Whatever you call it.

And silly food-lover that I am, I went and bought that heaven-sent delicious stupid bun. And ate it. And enjoyed it. And regretted loads afterward.

Never fear, tomorrow is a new day!

I'm Getting Married.

I've got good news for you guys : I'm getting married!! :D

"To whom?" is the main question.

isn't she a beauty?

Observe the glossy black shine of her "shapely" body, the bright, exposed gleam of her pedals, the great feeling you get when you lovingly caress her smooth keys.....

Isn't she beautiful? There is no greater love for a spouse than this.

We'll have a swell married life. No kids. :D

Me. Master Blogger?

Natalie -- [noun]: A master blogger 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

me? master blogger? gee thank you.but I don't even come close to Kenny Sia. :D

Pretty / Pear Body?

I can't believe it. I have put on one kg.

Die. Die. Die.

It's so unfair that some people are born with that beautiful body shape, and some aren't. Some just have the genes, and some have to starve to get what others were born with.

now there's a hot chick who doesn't need to diet. you should try doing something about your face though.

Auntie Ah Eng's session today was very informative. It just makes me wonder, how can girls, when they're already bone-thin, keep insisting they're FAT FAT FAT? Society isn't doing very much to improve their self-image either.

I was just thinking, if eating disorders were a physical problem, the government would spend money, put up advertising and organise campaigns to solve the problem. It's really sad that through our middle and high school years, we learn lots of stuff about ancient sultans who were of no good to the country whatsoever, but there is no subject about self-confidence, which is the main reason girls go, "i am FAT FAT FAT."

I do think it's ok to diet, as long as it's not too excessive and the dieter does not get "addicted". Dieting can actually be better for self-esteem if taken in the right way and if results are good. =D

Wooooot dieting! Isn't it ironic though, that the word diet has the word die in it?

Oh no, it's me!

I am tripolata confused. I don't even know who I am.

It's like there are 3 parts of me. The horned part (whom I shall call D for obvious reasons), the winged part (whom I shall call A, also for obvious reasons), and the third part (T) which analyses D and A and tries to understand them. And STILL doesn't understand.

here you see the difference.

It may sound like I'm totally babbling. But the truth is, I'm on really shaky ground with my faith and lots of other things. Like, I put on a bimbo act with some people, and act intellectual with others. And when "T" asks me which one I really am, I don't know.

I went totally high the other day at the movies, totally screaming about how hot the hero was, blah blah...(you know, how bimbos act).

But when "T" asked me "Were you really that into him?" I honestly answered, "Well, he is kinda hot, but i don't know, if I look at it from another angle, he isn't that hot. Don't know, got to follow what my friends think."

The Devil (D) part of me has been kinda active lately. Especially with the subject of Christianity. Like, it's been saying, "What's the point of trusting in a God that you don't really know anyway? Just go on and do what you like!"

Then Angel (A) goes, "There's so much proof to show that God exists...." and proceeds to list them out.

D 's main argument is that I don't know 100% that God exists. A's main argument is that he just does. Even a kid can see that D is winning the dumb argument.

And the dangerous thing is, D has been asking me to act like a total b*tch. I've been thinking about what it would be like to be totally conscienceless and be really selfish. Would I be happy then, getting what I want all the time? D says yes.

And A is getting very worried, going "no, no, no, that's wrong." Meanwhile, T is trying to make sense of myself, analyse the situation and find out what I'm really like. But T is still very blur about what's going on, aside from the fact that D is winning.

This is me. Deal with it.

Diets. Good For Health.

Darn. i feel so mad.

my mum is a very lenient and generous person who only has my wellbeing at heart.
my mum is a sweet and forgiving person.
my mum never hesitates to apologize when she's wrong.
my mum...blah blah.

You're probably wondering why I just went off my head like that and said all that weird stuff. The thing is, it's true. I'm just trying to get it into my head.

Darn. I still feel mad.

The scenario is this.
My girlfriends everywhere at school are going on diets, refusing to eat, skipping recess, lunch or dinner. Whatever. My mum heard about a girl at school being hospitalized for being anorexic / bulimic and now she thinks I'm in "danger". (From diets? Please.)

Just because I decided to go on a little diet doesn't mean I'm gonna be anorexic! I recently went on an extremely effective diet for 2 months, but quit a few days ago because I attended a hi-tea with lots of fattening (and delicious) food.

You'd think she'd be happy that I decided not to diet, but no......mum was afraid I'd become fat, and go on ANOTHER diet, so she took "necessary precautions".

There go all my between-meal tidbits. Bye bye, darling snacks, I hope you have a good trip!

I'll miss you! *cries*

And I'll kiss you goodnight everyday, to make up for not eating you.

Duh. So illogical.

I love my mum. Really I do.

Hey, I don't really feel mad again now. I love my mom, and my piano, and blogging. Good.